Cannot trust just anyone with your heart.
Not even the ones you love.
Hell, sometimes you cannot even trust yourself.
Bodily, you are protected.
Mentally, throwing your heart through the electric shredder.
The intimacy of your body should stand firm on the same grounds.
The naked body can be art, can be profit, a vessel, an identity....
And to some, a seemingly unattainable achievement.
An..
Achievement.
Let that resonate for a moment.
This ever-growing social culture cloaked by and correlated to the “free spirit” labeling, is what leads to such moments.
Removing the idea that sharing a sexual experience is no longer intimate, but yet an instant crave-filled gratification.
A gold sticker, or a red shiny bow territorially marking that you “achieved” an opportunity to be penetrated by or to share a bed with someone that has only been wetly dreamt about.
How ridiculous do we sound?
To brag in our group chats about how sexually satisfying someone made us feel without any intention of wanting to share that experience for the rest of our lives.
Prior to 2015, I knew nothing but loyalty to the one I shared intimacy with. With only intention of getting to know the man behind the penetration, in hopes that every encounter was more and more intimate.
the innocence in those times are blissfully reminiscent.
It took four years of a mindset so oppositely developed, due to self-healing from a trauma
...to bring me to this reset.
To bring that slight abstinence and chastity back.
To re-evaluate every friendship of the opposite sex.
To ensure the friendships are just that, and not with sexual motive.
This season is cancelled.
Welcome to my ....
Heart Girl Summer.
-t
