Imagine a world where the ability to see your reflection did not exist.
Imagine if the way that you viewed yourself excluded appearance.
Everything worn, every hair style, makeup or bare face was all a result of how you feel inside.
How different would your routine be?
How much better would you feel?
These ideologies were developed since preteen era.
Pity party aside, I was rarely ever stopped by bystanders due to my dazzling beauty. I was taunted by peers for facial features that appeared too large for my frame.
My looks overshadowed the features I wished kids my age cared about.
I never befriended or was attracted to others based on his or her ability to captivate a room through physical appearance.
I worked hard and stayed true to myself. I grew out of the latest trends, and created my own.
I lead with my heart and nestled in the confidence of my personality.
It allowed me to weed out those who cared about neither.
If I could talk to 11-13 year old me, I would give her a big hug because she was so tender.
All she cared about was feelings: validating others and hoping to be loved for the way she was.
I learned a lot from that era.
I still think of her often.
She grew into being a walking haven. She carries the gift of comfort and safety. She captivates by that same ability.
Since my grandma’s untimely passing, I have carried this one piece of advice with me throughout my life.
“Happiness depends upon ourselves,” she said.
To others, a cliche. Internally, grounds me.
I wish I could befriend and mentor my younger self,
not to rewrite the past but to appreciate her for all that she is, was and who I have become.
Love you,
-t
