How is it possible to allow oneself to lay clothed by the arms of one so comfortably while your mind nestles in the thought of another?

Loving the feeling of the current physical comfort, while your heart is grasping at the emotional connection to another.

Both depriving me of the same fear: commitment.

Toggling between the two. One gives me “just enough”, while-as the other is nothing but lingerments of what once was but could have been along with the fire that I know still burns inside of him.

I’ve never been attracted to a man so emotionally weak yet carry a stubbornness so strong but loves me so, yet will go as far to act like he doesn’t.

Reminds me of a long-lasting craving. Something I want enough to desire, but not bad enough to attain.

*Let it resonate a moment*

How can two play an obvious game so badly? It’s like who can act more careless, how long can either hold out for & how are we supposed to act if/when either of us cracks?

He virtually checks on me religiously, while my wonderment checks on him daily too. & when the curiosity spreads further than thoughts,

...im now staring blankly in disbelief at the private Instagram page of his replacement lover.

A petal picking moment if you will

*he loves me, he loves me not*

-t.